Sunday, January 17, 2010

Amber Alerts

So a few weeks ago I was watching the news and this family came on and started to talk and cry about how they miss (fill in the blank with any random name) since she's been kidnapped. They talked at length about how great a person she was and pretty much said every good thing she has ever done. I have no doubt that she was probably the product of a Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Joan Arc threesome. (This would be a threesome epic proportion. Everyone so giving and thoughtful...) I bet if she hadn't been kidnapped she would be a few weeks away from curing cancer.


I don't believe this, and I know you don't. There is no way everyone that is kidnapped was a good, upstanding individual. The sheer numbers just don't support it. How many 'good' people do you actually know? I mean be honest. You could count on one hand how many there are. People have done great things, but there are so few actual good people out there.


But I've honestly seen these things for years. there is no way all the abductees are nice, lovable, good people. One day I want to see a group of people interviewed and say, 'She was a bitch anyway, hope they don't bring her back.' Just people being honest. Same thing at funerals. Everyone only remembers the good that someone did. Wasn't he legally injected for killing 30 women? Yeah, but he was really sorry and just misunderstood.

People = Idiots.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Quick Thought Of The Day

Saw a still from the movie 'Precious'. This actor wowed me with his versatility. First he plays Biggie in Notorious, then he plays the lead in Precious as a pregnant teenager. He's my rising star of 2010.

Sirius Black Does Crystal Meth

(I will start this true account with an introductory statement.)

This story is true and it will be told as I saw it. Lol.

I knew this guy from a while back. Let's just call him Sirius Black. This guy was honestly a different breed of person. The complete African American trickster stereotype, but not cunning and smart.

Jump to my roommate (Nsayel) and I playing Fight Night round 4. Sirius walks in and says, "I went to this porn shoot yesterday." I looked at Nsy like, 'dog either this could be a great story or this is going to end horribly.' He says, 'Man, there was naked bitches everywhere and stuff. And then right there was this table filled with drugs...' I am giving him a blankest look I could give him. Because I know this is going somewhere hilarious, but I don't want to laugh in his face yet. He then says, "Man they had everything on the table, coke, pills, ecs, weed, heroin, and crack, everything, yo! I HAD to try one!" I had to stop him. "I was like so which one did you try." He responded, "This drug called,... you ever heard of Crystal Meth?" Nsy and I looked at each other and back at him. I was like, "Yes. I know what Crystal Meth is..." "Yeah, that's the one I tried. It was cool." I was like, "dog, I don't do drugs, but I understand the appeal. But what I can't understand is of all the drugs on the table. That was your choice? Crystal fucking meth?" He starts to explain that he was curious and he wanted to try something new. Then I responded, "You’re too old to be curious about shit. By now you should know this type of stuff." He explains how he doesn't like the drug; all the while he is scratching his neck. (I don't know if he actually scratched his neck, but I always imagined he was so for the sake of the story he was scratching his neck.)

I was so flabbergasted by the story that I forgot to ask him the fundamental question, why the fuck where you there?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Friend Cap

Friendships are a funny thing. We all have them. You go out with said friend and offer to buy them something. They see this as your gesture of being a nice, considerate friend. So they in return pick something reasonable for you to purchase. This is called a friend cap. All friends have them. An, I buy something now and you just get me back later type of friendship. It's healthy, normal, and an accepted part of society.

Well, I have a friend who continually breaks the friend cap. It's gotten to a point where I have to now place monetary (if any) restraints on my offer. Like, if I receive a ride and I offer to pay gas, I have to give an immediate number in fear that he might fill his tank and I be stuck with the bill.

The last blatant disregard of the friend cap occurred a few weeks ago. We were at a popular grocery store with another friend. I offered to get him something to eat. He declined. I then knowing that he drove offered him something to drink. He accepted. He picked a lemonade and we were off to the register. I find out unceremoniously that the drink he chose was a $7 non-alcoholic lemonade. First off, who the fuck buys any drink (non-alcoholic) that costs over $3 especially on someone else's dime? What kind of reptilian shit is that? I mean I know it isn't malicious, but goddamn. You are with friends. Why try to take advantage of them?

The protocol for friends is to keep the price reasonable. And if you feel you are going to go above and beyond, tell your friend. Say hey, this is this much. Can I get it. By doing this you are letting your friend know that you acknowledge you are breaking the friend cap. That you are respectful of their wallet.

He did not. He saw this an opportunity to try a drink he wouldn't buy on his own because it was too damn expensive. The only reason I didn't call him out on it at the store was because a hot girl was in line. I have a rule. I never embarrass my homies in front of a hot girl. Whether they have a shot or not.

Now this isn't the first time he has broken the friend cap, and it won't be the last.

So a word to the wise. Don't break the friend cap. It only makes you look like a dick.

A little about me

So, this is my first of many posts. Just wanted to say thanks for wasting your time reading about my life.