Kobe will never be better than MJ

I will put an end to this argument right now.

Win or lose tonight Kobe will never be better than Jordan. Jordan dunked on five Monstars from half-court, last shot of the game in an intergalactic finals game.

That is all.

Toasted Sandwich and a Black Eye

You know you are having a weird day when getting robbed by an evangelical gardener isn't the craziest thing to happen. After a long day at my former shitty job I walked into a Quiznos to get something so simple and pleasant to calm my nerves after a long day. A toasted sandwich, a toasted beef dip sandwich. Mmmmhhmm. But what do I get? You ask... I walk into the tail end of a fist fight between a 6 ft tall 250 pound woman aka a huge lesbian version of Aunt Jemina on steroids, a 5'5 skinny white chick and a 25 year old autistic man. I mean the only logical thing I could say as this large black man enjoyed his meal during the melee was... Can I still get a sandwich? A simple request for a very complicated day...

Even with a time machine I still couldn't get laid

So I was in a conversation with a friend of mine about how often what beauty in women changes. I mean this convo got very detailed. Cleopatra was fat, but was considered sexy because her body made it known that she could over-indulge in food because of her status. Then the Mona Lisa and what you see nowadays. Like every few years what beauty is changes in the eyes of the masses. But for a man. From the statue of David (minus the penis) to Da Vinci's the Vitruvian Man to other portraits of 'beautiful men' they all look the same. Muscular, abs, great hair, etc. It's the same in present time. So what I take from that is I would have the same success rate with women. If I had a Dr. Brown I would still have to do a set of crunches and run before I go anywhere with him. Basically rendering my dream of traveling in time to have sex with women of different eras mute.

Guess it's time to work on that personality.

Saying goodbye to the worst job imaginable.

So I just quit a job so terrible that it made my time at burger king seem like a cakewalk. So the job sold me as a marketing gig. But in all honesty when I walked into the office I knew this was not going to be like any job I've ever had. End result was a job where I had to walk for over ten hours a day. The job was slave hours 12hr days 6 days a week for all commission. I am not above any type of work, but when a job pays like shit and stops me from doing what I came out here to do then it's a problem. I did meet a ton of cool people while on the job though. So the job wasn't all bad. But I do have his bullet point of the things that happened on the job.

*Was offered sex for a dodger ticket

*Got my phone stolen by an evangelical gardener

*Tried to sell Dodger tickets inside of a homeless shelter

*Was publicly berated numerous times (although that was pretty funny).

*Had racial slurs hurled at me

*A family was murdered a few blocks hit style a few blocks from where I was working

*and a ton of other fun stuff!

So all in all I had a pretty exciting time in the job. But I am glad it's over and at least I got a great show idea out of the job. I wish all who stayed the best of luck. Keep fighting the good fight and don't believe the hype.