Toasted Sandwich and a Black Eye

You know you are having a weird day when getting robbed by an evangelical gardener isn't the craziest thing to happen. After a long day at my former shitty job I walked into a Quiznos to get something so simple and pleasant to calm my nerves after a long day. A toasted sandwich, a toasted beef dip sandwich. Mmmmhhmm. But what do I get? You ask... I walk into the tail end of a fist fight between a 6 ft tall 250 pound woman aka a huge lesbian version of Aunt Jemina on steroids, a 5'5 skinny white chick and a 25 year old autistic man. I mean the only logical thing I could say as this large black man enjoyed his meal during the melee was... Can I still get a sandwich? A simple request for a very complicated day...